its raining

its 5.47 am and its raining and i'm awake..
dya knoe when it rains thats the best time to sleep?
you feel so secure and snuggled up in your comforter.
but no i'm awake
why you ask?
because i'm a procrastinator.
how does being a procrastinator tie in with this you ask?
because if i had anough common sense i wouldnt have slept the afternoon away
if i had enough common sense i would've done my wokr first then sleep
if i had enough common sense i wouldnt be stoning now
if i had enough common sense i wouldve known tomorrow i cant sleep cause i have more work
but whaddaya know
i didnt have enough common sense.
so here i am
now 5.49 am
waiting for my watercolour to dry so i can apply yet another layer and wait for it to dry again
stoning
listening to trance to keep me awake
which isnt working much
why you ask am i whining?
because thats what i do when i'm stoned
i'm either effing quiet or i'd always have to say something
which results in something not good
not a good time to piss me off
but here i am
alone
no one can piss me off
unless someone decides to drop by or call
but unlikely
thats good
but you know what else is good?
my bed
my comforter
my pillow on which i lie my head on every time i'm asleep
but tonight i cant have that benefit
why you ask?
because i cant sleep
why you ask?
because i didnt have enough common sense
common sense for what you ask?
enough common sense to think about finishing my artwork early that i had to stay up to do it.
so now here i am
waiting for the stupid artwork to dry so yet another layer can be added
then oh joy i'll have to wait for it to dry again.
such joy
isnt it so much fun?
aren't i so sarcastic right bout now?
well too effing bad
i cant effing help it
you know why?
coz i'm lacking sleep
and i'm lacking common sense
haha
wow
what a surprise.
what else you ask?
jee whiz i dont know
owh wait yes i do
i'm lacking in good humour
and i'm lacking in emotions
see cause right bout now i'm numb
i dont feel anything but a bottomless pit of despair
why you ask?
because it all ties in with the fact that i'm a PROCRASTINATOR!

Its you.

There you go
again and again i wonder
are you mine?
or am i dreaming of something thats doomed to go under?

Forever you shall remain in my heart
but will i stay forever in yours?
i see smiles and i see laughter
but so my tears start to pour

I'm insecure i admit
but its you who has my love
i hope you wont turn into my biggest fear
i hope you wont turn into a dove

A dove may symbolise love and such
it may bring happiness to much
but in the end a bird is just a bird
it could fly away after a single touch

I'm insecure i admit
but its you who has my love
you made me smile when i wanted to cry
like an angel sent from above

Its you who stays in my mind
its you who stays in my heart
and i swear i'll do everything i can
to make sure we don't part

Its you
its only been you
its you
its oh-so-fucking true

I'm insecure i admit
but its you who has my love
and nothing will change that
its you i love, my angel from above, my dove

Its you i love.

insomniac

owh gawd i've been sleeping irregularly these past few months.
more so these past few days.

ok so its 17th july 2006
i turned 17 2 days ago.
yay
whee

its a monday and i havent slept.
my figures are all 80% complete.
and the only thing on my mind is food.
wait food and him.
(those who i hold dear to my heart will know wht i'm talking bout)

moving on life is unfolding.
and we gain experience.
but does experience count?
it just proves you've gone through it before
but it doesnt necessarily make you a better person, or better at that thing.
it can happen to you over and over again
but you can still repeat the same mistake.

will you ever change?
or are things going to stay like this forever?
it happened not once, not twice, but this would be a third time.
sucky innit?

owh bugger.

and i dont know what to do.
i'm still here
waiting

and not only is it happening to me but to other people around me.
i'm stuck in this parallel universe where only this happens.

and how do i escape?

its hard but i dont care

Its hard to know you love her
its hard to know she loves you too
its hard to know i might be wasting my time
but i'll love you all the way through.

You give me light, when everything seems dark
you give me joy, when everything seems hopeless
you give me laughter, when all i wanna do is cry
and i hope you'll give me the chance to return the favours.

If and when you do
i'll love you with my heart
i'll love you with my soul
and i'll do everything i can to make sure we never part.

.<33

Pantun..

Anak merbah terciap ciap

ada tanda hari nak petang

darah di dada girap gemirap

ada tanda cinta nak datang

.<33